English and Malay paper were just the 1st course.
I have Maths and Social Studies to go this friday.
Oh god.
Kill me now.
CAUSE apparently people just dont get me anymore.
Dont get it why I have to be friends with other people.
And I dont get it how I used them and throw them like used tissue papers with snots and everything.
Though,I`m glad there are people out there who cares.
And they understand me for who I am.
You MAY call me a faker,but I know who I really am.
And I am NURZIHAN RUSLAN.
100% pure.
I have my flaws that I admit.
Yet,I dont judge a book by its cover.
To hear you say all those things,hurt me alot.
Though I dont show it,yet I do do do love you very very very much.
And we might have out differences,but you know I`ll never ever ever ever ever ever neglect you.
You are my friend.
My Best Friend.
Yet I dont know if this is satisfying enough for you.
Nothing ever does.
Well this is stupid.
-..-
Its from friendster.
Yet it kinda hit me like that!

Oh friendster !
haha Meeta this was the one I meant ;

I sat there in English class,

I stared at the girl next to me.She was

my so-called 'best friend'. I

stared at her long, silky hair. I

wished she were mine, but she didn't

notice me like that.And I knew it.

After class she walked up to me and

asked me for the notes she had missed

the day before, and I handed them to

her.She said 'thanks' and gave me a

kiss on the cheek. I wanted to

tell her. I wanted her to know that I

don't want to be just friends. I

love her, but I'm just too shy. And I

don't know why.

11th Grade...

The phone rang. It was her on the

other end. She was in tears, mumbling

on and on about how her love had

broke her heart.

She asked me to come over because she

didn't want to be alone, so I

did. As I sat next to her on the sofa,

I stared at her soft eyes,

wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, a

Drew Barrymore movie,and three bags of

chips, she decided to go to sleep. She

looked at me,said 'thanks,' and gave

me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell

her. I want her to know that I don't

want to be just friends. I love her,

but I'm just too shy.And I don't know

why.

12th Grade...

The day before prom she walked to

my locker. 'My date is sick,' she

said. He's not going to go. Well,

I didn't have a date and in 7th grade

we made a promise that if neither

of us had dates we would go together

just as 'best friends,' so we

did.

Prom night, after everything was

over,I was standing at her front door

step. I stared at her. She smiled at me

and stared at me with her crystal

eyes. I want her to be mine, but she

doesn't think of me like that,and I

know it. Then she said, 'I had

the best time,thanks!' and gave me a

kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her.

I want her to know that I don't

want to be just friends. I love her,

but I'm just too shy. And I don't know

why...

Graduation Day...

A day passed. A week passed. A

month passed. Before I could blink, it

was graduation day. I watched as

her perfect body floated like an angel

up on stage to get her diploma. I

wanted her to be mine, but she didn't

notice me like that, and I knew

it. Before everyone went home, she came

to me in her smock and hat, and

she cried as I hugged her. Then, she

lifted her head from my shoulder

and said, 'You're my best friend,

thanks!' and gave me a kiss on

the cheek. I want to tell her. I want

her to know that I don't want to be

just friends. I love her, but I'm just

too shy. And I don't know why...

A Few Years Later...

Now, I sit in the pews of the

church. She is getting married,now. I

watched her say, 'I do' and drive

off to her new life, married to

another man. I wanted her to be

mine but she didn't see me like that,

and I knew it. But before she

drove away, she came to me and

said, 'You came!' She said, 'thanks!'

and kissed me on the cheek.I want to

tell her. I want her to know that I

don't want to be just friends. I love

her, but I'm just too shy. And I

don't know why...

Funeral...

Years pass, and I looked down at

the coffin of the girl who used to be

my best friend.' At the service

they read a diary entry she had wrote

in her high school years. This is

what it read: I stare at him wishing he

were mine. But he doesn't notice

me like that, and I know it. I want to

tell him. I want him to know that

I don't want to be just friends. I

love him, but I'm just too shy, and I

don't know why. I wish he would

tell me he loved me...i wish I did

too...i thought to myself, and I

cried.

Well,my last post before officially studying for exams.
Ah wells,Malay and English THIS WEEK!~
oh god please help me balance.
Oh tomorrow is another day.
Another day of school where I just doze off in class.Ah! But atlast,I MUST NOT.
I must UNDERSTAND.
Mr Ng,Please spare us no more.I am not understanding a word you`re saying.Please I beg you sir.
And then theres recess,it depends whether you come to me or ignore me the whole day like you do when you`re happy.Please don't forget me even when hell freezes.Cause it takes me forever to hate you.And I cant say I hate you,cause in the end you are the one who holds my secret.
Even though I feel like I`m being used,I guess I just have to accept that life`s like that.
Take it
Or leave it lying by the street with the homeless.
I`m gonna be 15 soon yet I still feel like I`m 5.
I want a matured mindset.
Please spare me no more.

Sometimes I wish that I was an angel
A fallen angel who visits your dreams
And in those dreams I'd blow you a message that says
You really want me

Sometimes I wish that I was a wrestler
A Mexican wrestler in a red vinyl mask
And I might grab you, body slam you, and maybe cause
physical harm
But when we would land
I might take pity on you
I can crack all your ribs
But I can't break your heart

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
That you will never love me
As long as I will live

Sometimes I wish that I was a beauty
A beautiful girl who was still 21
And I'd turn your head as well as your buddies
And I could afford to play hard to get
We'd go to parties and you'd show me off
And I'd go home with someone else

You will never love me
And this I can't forgive
And it will always bug me
As long as I will live
You will never love me
Why should I even care
It's not that you're so special
You're just the cross I bear
You will never love me


Maya,its your fault I`m addicted to this song
and ALSO,its your fault I`m addicted to Chocolate Banana Cake.
And its you who pass the 'can concentrate in class' disease to me.
AYAM WATCH OUT :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND WEDDING ANNIVERSARY TO KAKAK AND ABG AZIM :D
oh gawd my older sister and her husband :D
Oh and HAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYY BORNDAY TO THE ONE AND ONLY LILY ALIYA ALIEN :D

20th April just rock the daylights outta you.
Cause I got new phone as an early birthday present.
And I solemnly swear to NOT (i repeat) NOTTTTTT lose my phone

:D Thank you
Swore by ;
NurzihanRuslan
On the;
20thApril2008,4.32pm

People reading are witnesses to this swear and please tag I AM WITNESS with your FULL NAME.
Thank you for your ever most cooperation :D

exams nearing.
life ending.
heart breaking
dreams shattering
i am looking into life with new perspectives

the end.
ps.i dont wish you to be dead cause i realize maybe having you alive is okay.

They call you Mr. Personality
because your so ugly ahaha [x2]

ya so ugly
Mr.Personality
ya so ugly [ x3]

When I look at you
I go out of my mind
It's like I'm looking
At someone's behind
You make the children scream
And baby's cry
With your crusty teeth
And your blood shot eyes

your so ugly
your dad had
to tie a pork chop around ya neck
just to get ya dog to play witchya
oooh thats ugly

hahahaha
they call you mr. personality
because ya so ugly [x2]

ya so ugly
mr.personality
ya so ugly [x3]

No matter what you wear
Your face doesn't match
I don't think you were born
You had to be hatched
Everyone you meet
Gets one hell of a scare
They can't fall asleep
Cause your a walking nightmare

your so ugly
i heard that when you were born
your doctor slapped ya mama
ahahah ohh man thats ugly

they call you mr.personality
because your so ugly [ x2 ]

ya so ugly
mr.personality
ya so ugly [x3]

you make frankenstine
look like johnny depp
and wen you cross the street
you cause a major car wreck
you asked my grandma
if she needed help with her bags
i never seen an old lady run so fast

geez look at those glasses
are those coke bottles or somethin? hahaha
is that ya face?
or did ya neck throw up something

they call you mr.personality
because your so ugly
your so ugly [x2]

ya so ugly
mr.personality
ya so ugly [x3]


To those who wanna forget your ex boyfriend or ex crushes or assholes :D
And oh yah,Mr Personality,
HAPPY BARFDAY >.<

Cause obviously,
She's out of my league
But how can I win
She keeps draggin' me in and
I know I never will be good enough for her.

No, no
Never will be good enough for her.

Thanks to that ayam,i`m addicted.
well,its not for her.
or any hers in particular cause OBVIOUSLY I am a girl.
Oh and obviously,yesterday incident was nothing to her.
Thus,with high high hopes she thought we`ll accept her back.
Weelllll girlfrienddd,it ain`t that easy.
Well,I am just happy you know that you are slightly different from us.
slightly.
cause in reality we`re all whores.

=X

Okay . Fine.
You dont have to explain.
Neither do I have to explain my friendship with him.
Fine,
Your different.
Whoa,an outcast.
Dont feel pressurize with us innocent assholes.
Seriously.
Oh yet,we do shave our legs.
So not that innocent lah.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

Okay fine, you guys ARE friends.

ANYWAY.
I AM NOT WITH THAT PERVERT okay?
I am healthy and sensible thus I would not want a partner who is a PERVERT.
Yes.
HADY! ( im waiting for youuuuu....)



People,I hate poa.
Thank you.






I POSTED OKAY NOT SHUT UP!