I HAVE LIVEJOURNAL BABEY!

relink please CLICK ON THAT THING PLEASEEEEE
but i think i`ll still update here once or twice ;)

thanks love

I officially hate MAYA MENON ever sooooo muuucch as she's gonna miss CAAMP -.-
Gosh,thanks for not going,I have lesser victims to sabo and YOU KNOW you're the best to sabo!
Okay HAPPY GOOBER post.
Actually it aint Maya's fault anyway,its just that tomorrow is also the same day of her ACT 3 and WEEEEEE alllll knowwww who much she loves her ACT 3 and its gonna be her LAST performance cause she's quitting.
See?Maya,I understand :) haha

-.-
Today was crappy with my stupid attitude.
Oh hormones hormones,when will you ever stop activating ?
Shes my FRIEND,my buddy,my sista,my love and you know it GOES ON.Feel like slapping myself for being a BIG TIME loser .
I'm really sorry. I really am. Come truly from my heart and I promise I'll try to control these hormones of mine and not let this affect our friendship.

Besides that,it was SUPER FUN,hahah bought STUFF for camp and 'they-know-what'.I think you do cause I`ve been saying it 10 00000 times.Before that did the beads thing. I didnt cause I was moaning and moaning like some cow.
Richson and Aliya did it.
I did some fungus toenail colour but kinda cuteee yet I didnt complete it.
Like duuuh,will I ever complete something?

So I have camp tomorrow to SERIMBUN!
Gosh,I heard maaaany stories okay and whats worse is that SHE'S going (no not you aliya -.-!).
I am SO NOT sharing a bunk with her who knows what voodoo she does before she sleeps.
Gawwwd.
Fine,I'm evilllllllll.

See?Happy Goober Post OKAY?.Please dont bring me down anymore ;)

And Phatt has eye infection and my mum doesnt allow me to pay him a visit,afraid I might catch the infection or something or nothing.
Poor Phatt.
-.-

So,Happy Holidays to everyone.
Eat,sleep and slack now.
When you're back in school,its all about EOY and Os and L1r4 and all that jazz.

This post was supposed to be happy goober shyte but surprise surprise people
Well,now ask me again why I actually thought that I could do this shyte when I realize that I'm just wasting time and effort.
Hoho.Back to feeling useless when I actually felt better of myself today but you just HAD to spoil it all.God,I wonder so badly why I'm like this.So back to feeling useless,hopeless,boobless and all the less things in life.
Funny though,I really wanna cry my sockets out but at the same time I also wanna kick you in the butt so you would know how it feels like.Hah.Actually it aint the same.I think what I'm feeling right now is unexplainable.Really it aint.I might be able to use figures to explain what the fuck it is but the thing is I dont know how to put it together.
*fake smile*
I am happy for you but you know,well actually you dont.

Ah wells,if anything do happen I'm still happy I have my permanent sunshine in my pocket :)
I got love thats all mine
Do what you want you're never gonna break me.
I shouldnt be looking forward to the future and just be happy with what I have right now.
I`ll try to do that again ;)

I hate Maths and Science day.Its just a day where two of the most boooring subjects come together to destroy me.*claps*
No offence to the mathematicians and scientists.
Maths and Science aint my cup of tea.

Mummy,I am awfully sorry for lying.

Natasha Bedingfield - Pocket Full Of Sunshine

Tomorrow would be suckish I know.
I can actually tell my future or a day after rotting at home
So yes,thought about myself.my ways and all the but in between my mind just wont give me a rest about you.
Hell yea,its fun thinking of you.
Just wanna punch it out you know what I'm saying.
I also watched the LAST EPISODE of Gossip Girl.Sadly,yes but only for the first season.They have a second season in the fall (whenever that might be).
oh back to thinking of you.oh gosh.hell of a fun.I feel like some retard.All right despite being a big time sucker I also wrote an essay.Please dont ask why I am just JUST going through my puberty phases and I swear its horrendous.
SO I'll be back tomorrow,being a big time idiot asshole useless loser. AND no ayam,I do not have self-confidence issues,I am so called the LAST person to get that thang.
Thank you ever so much ;)
So I'll be on my way and I know I wont be much of an effect in your life as a friend but if you do need a real friend I think you should know who to call.
The one waiting through whatsoever shyte or the one who left you and never did call you again.

yea,emo emo emo.
Is that all you can think about?

oh a BIG HAHA to Justin/XY or whoever whatever you are trying to pull off -.-,
I am not dumb.I have brains although Justin may have more brain cells but its okay.As he claimed,he is non-existent,hey hey,I didnt make that up you said it yourself in my tagboard.And why again do you wanna bash me up ? When all I said was that you're smart,you have a dimploma(HAHA!) or a degree or whatever and that you're fuck damn loaded and oh your gf is the one and only XY.WhoooaaWheeee.Fine,if you wanna hear it so badly I am JEALOUS.oh so ever jealous.
Oh and your aussie eh?My cat is Norwegian and he is BLONDE with GREEN EYES! HAH!
Beat that! :P
Okay seriously,I dont care if you love your cubby (liyi dont be mean lah -.-) XY and you adore her and you are planning on marrying her.For crying out loud moron,its just a post.Deal with it and get on with life.And XY dont bother (like seriously) going emo and crying in class about this.Its just a post and what I said was exactly what you told me and I didnt write "ANYHOW".
And gosh,grow up XY. Crying over small matters wont get you anywhere,you gotta pick yourself up from where you fall.
Hear it from the girl who stayed at home for time to think. :)

Gawd,god knows why I am writing to two different names
but actually to the same person -.-

So Justin,planning on bashing me up for a post that is true ? Email me wont you ? Lets sit and have a cup of coffee/milo/boiling water.
I would love to hear from you ;)
bicepslove@gmail.com


Much love,
Zihan :D

oh havent you heard I'll come back stronger than a power-ed up pac man

stupid
useless
crap

I dont think I`ll ever be a good enough friend for anyone cause of who I really am which is why I have decided to take a break from everything including school for approximately a day and really really reflect.
After what cikgu said,maybe shes right only I dont realize it.
No I am not kidding and this aint one of my stupid empty talks.
Plus,I am also sick.
Sick has many many examples,mind you.
I cant really say much here cause I dont think its appropriate and I just need to be with my mum now cause shes leaving for Mecca soon.
Although I dont really agree on her going without me(-.-)but I realize she needs a break too.
And if that makes her happy,I'm happy.
:)

So yes,I will never be anything and I can never satisfy anyone.
I'll never be unique cause I'm just plain paranoid with everything.
'Puberty Phases' again I assume.
I really wanted to me M:)'s friend but I realize also that I wont be a good enough friend(FRIEND LAH EH).Look whats happening now man as a GOOD EXAMPLE.

I'll try to be less paranoid with everything but I cant promise.I'll try to be a good enough friend but I cant promise anything although the only person that can change you is yourself.
Whatever that means /
Cause I have been trying that but I have beeeen failing badly.

I am pathetic really I am.
I sound stupid?Whatever.
I really cant take it no more

I shall not talk about the camp read BOOBIAN's blog and yea.
Alright yesterday had that AMMMAAAAZING RACE thing with Cikgu,Boobian,Maya,Amirah,Akbar,Puteeera and Sufi!
It was fun.
Akbar is an a*shole :)
After so,we went to watch CONGKAK which was stupid but a*shole wanted to watch soooo badly.

Right,now.
I really dont know what I must do for council camp lah -.-

oh have you SEEN?
Justin and Xiuyan tagged my blog man!
HAHA
eh thanks ah,very honoured as I dont think people ever read my blog especially PEOPLE LIKE YOU!
Oh GOSH!
Tears in my eyes right now *sniffsniff*

Thanks man! Really made my day and Justin I shall take note of what you said and I'll make the changes :)

Gosh!
Irritating XY and be irritated by her in return is SURPRISINGLY FUN :D
She was talking about her OH SO HAAAWT bf who apparently is IRISH and has an ENGINEERING DIPLOMA at the age of fifteeeeen.
And has a JOB in SUNTEC CITY as a SOUND ENGINEER (again,) at the AGE OF FIFTEEEN.
And while doing his diploma at Singapore Poly,he is also attending some neighbourhood secondary school like you and I.
AMAAAAAZING
Think of it,a boy only at the age of FIFTEEN is able to manage his time sooo efficiently.
Mymy,he must be one heck of a GENIUS.
With a diploma and EVERYTHAANG.
I'll dieee to be like him -.-
Me,Maya and Aliya were like listening and protesting at the same time on how someone could not get a diploma in SINGAPORE POLY until they actually finish up 4/5 freeeaking years of secondary school and go through that puberty phrase (heh!) called O Levels!
Isnt that how it normaaaaly flows like?
Or did they pass some new law I NEVER heard about?
She was like "Really! Really! I went and followed him to his lecture that time"
I replied "Really?I thought they don't allow visitors in their lecture hall unless permitted?"
She replied with this pro face "They do. They do! Then how you think I got in?"

-.-
Strip?
I dont know.
Could Justin be the son of some VVIP?
He's half IRISH you see
Must be drop dead gorgeous,with his glimmering greeen eyes and hunky body,oh have I mentioned he is loaded?
He brings XY around in cabs and the fare (according to her) goes as high as FIFTY DOLLARS!
I wanna meet XY lucky guy.
Oh wells,teenagers and their puberty phases are soo *scofffs*
What has come to the world people?
What really has?

I have council selection camp tomorrow although I don't really recall signing up for the camp but HELLL YEAAAA its gonna be funn cause there's SUSHI and BOOBIAN ;)
Shall not elaborate on why its fuuuuuun to have sushi around.HEH.
Now I gota redo my FUN WITH MATHS AND SCIENCE thang cause apparently bulu didn't like our proposal cause its in MY HANDWRITING lah.
Thanks bulu for making our lives very miserable.
Its bad enough we sound like gee-heeekks being one of the many groups in charge of a trail now you don't accept our NICELY WRITTEN proposal.
Fine fine,let technology do the work.
I seriously still cannot cannot cannot find the FUN in MATHS AND SCIENCE.
I wasn't born as a mathematician,sorry for the flaws babe! ;)

After that proposal thing,I have to do the class tee shirt thing and I am kinda clueless plus I do NOT have the picture cause Boobian has it

Okay I think CHHHEEEE HEEEEAAAAAANN just went online.

alright.
I shouldnt be like this
I should do up a proper post :)

Alright I guess soo much that you guys have been reading people's blog on how they've done badly for Mid Years and how we have this urge to kill the teachers and how we cry in bed and reflect on our actions and our SLACK-AH attitude -.-
Fortunately people,I am SOOOOOO one of them (or you)
Do you really think I put enough effort for Mid Years?
ME,ZIHAN RUSLAN?
Well.
I am actually unsure myself
I am just thankful I didnt fail any subjects but I was just blessed with grades raging only from C5s to B3s
And no I dont think I should blame anyone for my marks except myself
(-.- see furry,maturedness!)
And actually I read a few blogs,they actually did quite well although I dont SEE WHY they think its bad.
Gosh!Compared to mine!
So hell yah,my results dont really meet my expectations or my mum's or my teachers or hady -.-
All I can do now is work really hard for end of years' and PULL up my marks like how TPK pulls up her skirt.
Seriously,how many times have you guys heard that?
No not about TPK(=;=),but the pull up for EOYs?
I bet countless.
Well,its just one of the puberty phase right?
Where teenagers simply try to do the whole motivation thing.

Darn,I am actually crapping right now cause its 12 am and I am NOT ASLEEP cause I rather do nothing that I love than doing something that I dont love .

:)
Or in richson's stupid words "STONNING"
Bitch,I am using alot of his words.
we have nothing in common we lost it all on the way home from lalaland.

Well,tomorrow is another day where we do stupid corrections and slack at the back of the class and also gossip and talk about things.
I really dont wannna go to school tomorrow.
I hate reminising the past by doing corrections and feel like a total moron.
I assume that's what CORRECTIONS for anyway.
Make you feel hopeless -.-

Who have I become?
Some idiot thank you very much.
I dont know whats really wrong with me and I cant ask myself cause apparently right now my mind aint speaking.
Its your voice.
Thats HOW stupid I am right at this point of life.
Who am I kidding?
Your too good
SO why am I bothering?
Pleaseeeeeee tell me whyyyyyyyyyyyyy

And I reallyy LOVELOVELLOVE ALIYA AND MAYA
Despite the shyte they went through thanks to my glorious sunny patch mouth,
they still have not confronted :)*

Once again,I feel useless and my themes wont work and my grades are craaaaaaaap
Thank you one and all especially .....

AND GOSSIP GIRL! oh god,who dont just LOVE GG?!
Its just fucking awesome unlike my life right now which is like uurrrrgghhhhh
I am so sorry.


Thanks ;)

even if you already know i hope nothing changes.
yet it lies in the hands of fate
i understand if everything changes

and aliya although i wannna kill you but i wont cause im okay and im not angry at you -.-
see that face -.-

HAHA.
im fine fine.

I feel ever so useful now.
I just made a HADYMIRZA handphone theme!
I am effing proud of myself as I have not really done anything useful for the past few weeks and that includes studying for exam
-.-
For those who hates hady (Eg.RAIHANA);
I shall just give you this face -.-

You wanna see the skin,see my phone.
See how hady has enlighten my life?


:D
really i really think now is not the right time,
i dont wanna lose it because of this thus,
somethings are just meant to be kept a secret forever
HADY I LOVE YOU! :D

OH MY GOD!

Well,I really really hoped you people at my partaaye had lots lots lots and tons of fun.
I must thank those who came early and apologise for the un-readiness.Really really sorry y`all.
HAHA!
Thanks for participating in the treasure hunt and stuff (:
You guys totally rocked.
I really appreciate your presence and PRESENTS hahahah.
Thanks y`all.

Athirah
Amira
Aliya
Aqilah
Atika(&bro)
Dahiyah
Darwita(&sis)
Hidayu
Shahirah
Khadijah
Nadiah
Maya
Meeta
Cikgu Abidah
Kovit
Nazri(really thank YOU and also sorry for lying hahah)
Farah
Sakinah
Steph
Syaf
and Richson
Thanks Richson for the 8 hours although I was really pissed at you for leaving early but I realize I was being stupid cause I should understand your rich-boy schedule ;)
Although I know you werent there in your heart(TALK COCK AH!),but I know you would do anything to be there a minute longer.
Thank you to MAYA,for sleeping over and cooking noodles in the middle of the night due to my HUNGRY STOMACH :D
Thank you also to Shahirah,Aliya and Darwita for something which I shall not mention in my blog :D
Thank you to the people who smashed cake on me,I really hate you but only to a certain extent.
And LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
Thanks MUMMY,NENEK,KAKAK,ABG AZIM,BIBIK,IMRAN(i dont know why though),Pak Ngah,SARAH,Fatin and Kak win ;D
Thanks for helping out especially to KAKAK,ABG AZIM and MUMMY,
Kakak - for organising,for looking hot and for the ideas and really helping out although you were tired from your flight lah (: I LOVE YOU
Abg Azim - For barbecuing stuff and sweating and help with the speakers THANK YOU SO MUCH!I LOVE YOU TOOO.
Mummy- For taking MC,cooking for the partaaaye and preparing everything.
SORRY AND THANK YOU SO MUCH! I LOVE LOVE YOU AND HAPPY MOTHER's DAY! :D oh and also allowing me to SKIP madrasah :X


Thank you all for the presents,the chocolates,the cards and the soft toys.
I LOVE IT ALLL REALLY REALLY!

Be sure to come to MY NEXT BIRTHDAY PARTAAYYYEE .
(i promise it`ll be ten times more COOLLLLERRRR than THIS)

:D

PRINCESS MAYA MENON :D



Thanks again everyone and I promise next year I`ll invite more more people and incase I missed out someone`s name please INFORM me dont start hating me aites?

:)

Well,been flunking everything and helll yahh tmrw is POA PAPER ONE the first time ever I`ll be sitting for the paper and no MR NG to help.Oh this is a point of tme where you totally regret flunking POA.Can I just say its not my cup of tea?

EH,aint my blog dead?

I should should put more more pics huh?

Alright.

PHATT'S BIRTHDAY IS COMINGGGGG (:

15 May ((:

YO PEOPLE ITS MY BORN DAY DAUUUGGG!\

haha.

Why dont you ask maya why I just talked like that?

HAHA!

okay okay fast post since I have to go back studying soon anyway

-;-

Thanks to

Nadiah

Ayu

Aqilaaaah(BMSS)

Aliya

Meeta

Diaaana

FurrrrryVeeWHO FINDS PINK CUTE(like wth right?)

Munn(:

Zacharyy

CyrustheWalrus

MAIsarah(hah)

Farhan

and

Richson

for the 12 midnight wishes and Richson,thanks for the speeeeech.

And ALIYA (: I LOVE YOU TOOOO YOUUU *muacks**muacks**muach*

hahaah yea,we sound like them dont we?

Im expecting more tomorrow okay?

If I dont get it,well say hi to Elvis for me okay?

Thanks you guys I really appreciate it okay (:

A day to go thats correct!

HAHA!I already got my first present!:D

*geeee*

Oh please am I being called emotional when I`m actually trying to be fucking matured.Hell yah.I was but people got the wrong idea.Its okay.

Maybe now is not the time for me to have a more matured thinking (:

Do you wanna know something?

Come hear let me whisper into your ear

sometimes i wish you knew

theres something waiting for you right here

sometimes i wish i can tell you

but i know that after that wont be the same anymore

Stop telling me you might never know cause I dont think so,I KNOW SO.

After that wont be the same.

The sun wont shine anymore

and Hady just wont sing

and soon the pieces dont fit in anymore

GUESS WHAT?

HADY EATS ONIONS! cool shyte aite?

Oh well,yes its that time of the day where you feel pretty fcuked up of the day`s work yet you feel very energetic at the same time.Queer huh?Well,I`m not in the mood of putting my words into the center thing.Thus,bear with me will you?Its also the point of time where I am actually suppose to be studying something really important but at the same time I feel the day have not really been satisfying.
As I like to put it,the ways of turning 15 in a few days time has really been cocked up in my brain.
16 will be in a year`s time and then theres that point of life where you really have to forget about your hormones and put your head into a game they call O'Levels.
Anyway,I believe next year will a more focus year as my hormones will not be as bad as they are now cause hormones interrupters would be gone for good and only god knows when they`ll appear in my life again.
Well,I hope everything changes as I grow.
Older.
Not really much wiser.
Oh what the heck I did put it into the center thing?
Oh better stop being too addicted into computers cause havent you heard computer keyboards have 10 times more bacteria than your regular toilet seat!
Gruesome much?

Now,wasnt the post a "matured" one?
Well,I though so too.
:)
Oh wells,nobody told me POA paper 2 is a 2 HOUR LONG PAPER man!
How will I eveeeer pass my POA,I mean I already have my maths to worry about now I have my POA.
Only god knows how I try very hard to study but thoughts of thoughts just cocks my mind up.
Alright,I think I`ll book a one way ticket to the June Holidays' remedial.


soon really soon I`ll be a matured thinker.;)

now,I really need to put my head into chemistry to impress my ever so hot teacher.
No sadly not Mr Iskandar :(
Hey! Hasnt it been ageeees since I talked about him?

Its damn hard to post a post where I can rant out my feelings.
It really is.
Can I just speak my heart out without having any regrets?
No.

My birthday is coming this sunday.
4th May .
*HINT* *HINT*
Well,I hope god bless me with a more matured brain where I can always think before I do anything.Well,for you all who feel that I`m neglecting you.I am really really sorry.
And maybe one of you kind souls can give me hady`s sperm?
In a jar?
With ribbons?
I`LL THANK YOU FOR THAT.
Oh can I request a msg sent to me on the morning of my birthday pleeeassee?
If thats not too much to ask? :)
Thanks y'all!
And good luck for exams.


AND

When?
9th May 2008
Where?
Simei St4
What time?
5pm
Theme?
BRIGHT COLOURS
(like yellow/lime green and etc)